Time and life management for working parents
Working parents are the subject of this article, and many of you who are involved may know that this is a really big challenge. Compared to school, college and university, and starting a new job and getting married, everything seems small. Believe me, those beautiful, clean, happy, and smiling children you see on social media are just one side of the coin, on the other: insomnia, changing diapers, and enduring the heartfelt cries of your beloved child for no reason when you have only managed to sleep for 2 hours in the last 24 hours!
Now add to all this trouble that because he who gives teeth does not give bread to anyone for no reason and without effort (at least he does not give it to you and me), you and your spouse have to provide diapers, bread, water, and so on. When you get home, you cannot take a shower and lie in front of the TV and go through social media like before, and it is just the beginning of your hard and inexhaustible shift as a parent.
This is more difficult for those women whose husband ends his shift when he gets home and wears striped pajamas, and his only help is to say this after dinner:
“Leave the dishes now and wash them later.”
Imagine that you have been working with your spouse since morning, and when you get home and pick up your baby from the nursery or grandmother’s house , you do not even have time to change clothes and you have to clean the house, load vegetables and feed the baby, put him/her to sleep.
If you have been as selfless and strong as you are now, to make this life a little easier for you, we recommend that you read this article.
GUIDE TO SURVIVING AS A WORKING PARENT:
Being working parents means:
- An endless list of strange, difficult tasks and situations.
- This problem is excruciating for mothers and fathers who struggle with it every day.
- There are no clear books or criteria for success,
- You may be worried about being recognized as a lazy person.
- Worst of all, this problem lasts for 18 years or more, without getting a bit easier.
In this situation, it is natural to get tired or doubt your choice and performance. But you can live more calmly and with more confidence and even enjoy life. While the challenges faced by working parents are many and varied in detail, the majority are divided into five main categories:
- Changes, operationality, communication, loss and identity.
If, when faced with any problem, you can place it in one of the above categories, you will feel more empowered and will find fundamental and acceptable solutions.
UNDERSTAND THE FIVE MAIN CHALLENGES
When faced with parental pressure with work, ask yourself: What problem am I struggling with?
Most likely, it is one of the following:
This challenge occurs when your current situation has changed and you are adapting to a new situation. Returning to work after maternity leave is a significant example of this. but changes for working parents happen regularly and in different forms. For example:
Those children do not go to school in the summer and their schedules change; Or you have hired a new babysitter and you need to familiarize her with your family routine; Or when you return from a business trip, you should suddenly step out of your career and become a good, caring parent.
- BEING OPERATIONAL
This challenge includes all work-related issues, large or small, that consume many hours of your day and night. Finding the right babysitter, seeing a pediatrician on time, feeding your baby, and more all fall into this category.
You face this challenge when you find it difficult to work as a parent and do not find the right word to discuss and find yourself exposed to mistakes or misunderstandings.
You want to announce that you are about to have a baby and ask your boss for a flexible work schedule.Or discussing the timing and division of household chores with your partner,Or you should tell your five-year-old that you need to go on a business trip again.
In these cases, things usually do not go the way you want and the honest and constructive conversation you want seems unattainable!
- LOSS, TO LOSE, LOST, TO MISS, LOSING
This challenge is a kind of mourning.
Your child took his or her first steps while you were at work,Or you may have missed a professional project just because you decided to work less, and you are upset and worried that you will lose important things as you try to combine work and family.
You experience this challenge when you, as working parents, find yourself in personal conflict:
Do you have to accompany your son to a contest on Thursday or a sales meeting with a new customer? Were you good parents or were you not with your child when you needed him or her? Which is true? I wish you knew the correct answer.
SOLUTIONS AND PREVENTION
As every employee parent knows, these challenges are never 100% solved. But they can be prevented and managed well.
- Practice And Repeat
Change is inevitable, but it gets easier through practice.
- If you are returning from maternity leave, think about what happens if you wake up a few days early, prepare the child, and manage the housework and go to work with all you might.
- If you have changed the babysitter: On her first day of work, work from home to be available to answer.
- If you are returning home from a business trip or have been at work for a long time: Take time on your way home to plan how to go from a hard-working employee to a good parent, how to make your kids happy, and how to spend the evening with them.
Doing such things would reveal potential problems:
Maybe preparing babies takes longer than you thought; the nurse does not know where to pick up extra diapers, and…
Most importantly, the exercises give you time to solve small problems and give you the feeling that:
“ I can handle it, and I know what I’m doing.”
- Review And Planning
Like any other working parent, you work harder and have more responsibilities than ever before. This means that you need to be sensitive and aware of how you spend your time and effort. To do this, we recommend that you write down all your activities, and track your time for a week or more so that you can make better and more accurate decisions for the coming days. Then it’s time to evaluate your information, be alone with your last week’s results. We recommend using up- to-date reports and reviewing them carefully.
Commitments and tasks you could do last week: Postpone, better manage, assign, automate, or do not highlight at all, and try to do the same for next week. For example, if you do not have to attend a meeting, set that time. If you have to buy a product every week, request a weekly order.
In practice, this exercise can compensate for the lack of time you need and shorten your to-do list. Emotionally, it gives you a sense of being active and responsible, and this insight helps you make more informed judgments and decisions about your future time and commitments.
To make any relationship as a working parent easier and more effective, consider these 4 things:
- Priorities, next steps, commitments and aspirations.
Suppose you have a hard day at work, but you have to get out of the office to get your daughter vaccinated, tell your coworkers:
” I’m going to vaccinate my daughter right now, (priority) but I’ll be back at 3:30. Then I want the marketing summary (next step) to have a new version to review. “(Commitments) I look forward to showing the result to the customer.”
A statement like this is much better than this:
” I’m going out for a few hours. ”
- Keeps colleagues up to date with your professional and personal plans,
- Reduces any worries about work progress,
- Demonstrates your commitment to the team.
- In this way, you take control of things and minimize the possibility of misunderstanding
- Use Thinking About (Today + 20 Years Later)
As a working person, you probably have the following motivations for the future:
Rewards for completing a six-month project, meeting annual revenue targets, and providing an effective three-year plan.
But as a working mother or father, you feel guilty about this aspect, this is where the evils of parenthood come into play, where you experience the bad feeling of losing. For example, if you have just returned from maternity leave, thinking about the next 6 months or a year can be fatal while you sit at the table miserably and miss your baby.
Think very short and very long at the same time.
Yes, you miss your child very much right now, but you go home and hug him/her in a matter of hours, and years later you become a great role model for him/her in terms of strength, job commitment and hard work. In other words, understand the reality and depth of current emotions, find immediate relief, and then identify positive outcomes by looking to the future.
- Review And Rewrite
Many of us have clear ideas about how we want to be known as a professional. But it is important to review and update the details of these identities once you become a working parent.
If timely response has always been an important part of your identity, this feature will be challenged during the family dinner: quite the opposite of your feature if you ignore your phone and feel very guilty if you as a parent use it. What was once known as a positive career distinction has become a win-win situation, you choose between these two, you lose one of your two professional or family honors. To be clear, rewriting does not mean lowering your standards; rather, it means defining important new standards. To do this, try to complete the following sentences:
- I am a working parent who has the characteristic…
- I prioritize my work responsibilities when….
- And my kids get a higher priority when it comes to …
Through this exercise, you may decide:
Instead of recognizing yourself as a person who responds in a timely manner, identify yourself as someone who communicates efficiently, thoughtfully, or skillfully.
Being a working parent is not easy at all; it is a big, complex, emotional, chronic and sometimes full-time challenge. But like any other challenge, the more you defeat it, the less fear there is. By taking a closer look at the issues you face and using specific strategies to manage them, you can be successful at work and at home the parents you desire to be.